


A little priest?

by Emptynarration



Series: Sweeney Todd AU [1]
Category: Sweeney Todd (2007), Youtube RPF, Youtube egos
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Sweeney Todd, Cannibalistic Thoughts, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2019-10-21
Packaged: 2020-12-27 21:08:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21125270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emptynarration/pseuds/Emptynarration
Summary: Host and Bim as Sweeney Todd and Mrs LovettPerforming "A little priest"





	A little priest?

“Seems a downright shame.”, Bim hummed, as he looked out of the window, before turning to look at Host.  
“Shame?”, Host asked, not paying attention to the other man, holding a small glass in his hands, half lost in thought.  
“Seems an awful… waste.”, Bim continued, turning to look towards the outside, where the stairs led up to Host’s barber shop.  
“Such a nice plump frame, what’s his name has.”, Bim walked away from the window, looking thoughtful. “Had. _Has_.”  
“Nor it can’t be traced.”, he was thinking, a revelation starting to bloom in his mind.  
“Business needs a lift… Debts to be erased.”, Bim sighed, walking to his little counter, old disgusting pies sitting on top of it as usual.  
“Think of it as a thrift; as a gift. If you get my drift.”, he looked over to Host, smirking slightly. Not getting a reaction, he turned back to looking at his counter, speaking more to himself than not apparently.  
“Seems an awful waste….”.

“I mean, with the price of meat; what it is, when you get it?”, Bim played with a bowl of filling for the pies, glopping back into it mass with a gross sound.

“Ah.”, Host realized what Bim was saying, grinning slightly, looking towards Bim.  
“Good you got it!”, he grinned in return, looking over at Host.  
“Take for instance Mrs. Moonie and her pie shop!”, Bim walked back over to where Host was sitting, looking down at him. “Business never better using only pussycats and toast. Now a pussy’s maybe good for six or seven at the most. And I’m sure they can’t compare as far as taste!”, Bim was walking back and forth, from the table to the counter, eyes wide as he turned back over to Host when he spoke.  
“Mr. Trimmer! What a charming notion, eminently practical-”  
“Well, it does seem a waste!”, Bim said while Host was speaking, grin wide as Host stood up, walking towards him.  
“-And yet appropriate as always; Mr. Trimmer how I’ve lived without you all these years I’ll never know!”, Host grinned as he grabbed Bim, a hand around his waist, one grabbing his hand, pulling him into the middle of the shop as if they were waltzing.

“Think about it!”, Bim started, as Host started again as well, the two of them twirling together.  
“How delectable, also undetectable!”  
“Lots of other gentlemen’ll soon be comin’ for a shave, won’t they?”  
“How choice!”  
“Think of all them pies!”  
“How rare!”

“For what’s the sound of the world out there?”, Host asked, as they went to a window, Bim pulling the curtain away. Both of them looked outside, Host’s head slightly tilted as he listened to the sounds through the thin glass.  
“What is it Host, what is it Host, what is that sounds?”, Bim replied, glancing up at the other man.  
“Those crunching noises pervading the air!”  
“Yes that’s the sound, yes that’s the sound, yes all around!”  
“It’s man devouring man, my dear-”  
“And who are we to deny it in here?”, the two asked together, smirking as they looked at one another, and then back outside.

Bim pulled away from the window, walking back into the shop, towards his counter, while Host stayed at the window, watching, _listening_.  
“These are desperate times, Mr. Trimmer.”, Host turned away from the window, walking back towards Bim, “Desperate measures are called for.”.  
Bim pulled a pie out of the oven, chuckling. “Here we are, hot, out of the oven.”.  
“What is that?”, Host asked, hearing the hard pie being set onto the counter, sceptical.  
“It’s priest.”, Bim replied, elbows on the counter and chin on his hands, smirking up at Host, as he turned towards the window, knowing the church was outside; a priest standing there. “Have a little priest~”.  
“Is it really good?”, Host asked, as he walked back towards the window.  
“Sir it’s too good, at least.”, Bim replied, getting up again to follow Host. “Then again they don’t commit sins of the flesh. So it’s pretty fresh.”. He shrugged lightly, standing next to Host at the window, both of them looking outside towards the priest, talking to people.

“Awful lot of fat.”, Host commented, scrunching his nose up in distaste.  
“Only where it’s sat.”, Bim threw in.  
“Haven’t you got poet, or something like _that?”_, Host made a motion towards a person outside reading books, and Bim’s gaze drifted to the man.  
“No, y'see, the trouble with poets is how do you know it’s deceased?”, he looked up at Host, shaking his head lightly, looking back to the priest. “Try the priest.”.

Host turned away from the window, thinking, knowing what people were outside. It never changed, did it? Bim followed behind after a few steps, as Host went to another window, another angle to look outside.  
“Lawyer’s rather nice.”, Bim hummed, watching one outside the window.  
“If it’s for a price.”  
“Order something else thought to follow, since no one should swallow it twice.”  
“Anything that’s lean?”, Host asked, looking at Bim again, who looked at him in return, before directing his gaze out again.  
“Well then, if you’re british and loyal you might enjoy royal marine. Anyway it’s clean. Though of course it tastes of wherever it’s been.”.

“Is that squire, on the fire?”  
“Mercy no sir, look closer, you’ll notice it’s grocer.”  
“Looks thicker. More like, vicar.”  
“No, it has to be grocer, _it’s green_.”

Host turned away from the window again, Bim following suit, and a hand of Host’s laid over Bim’s shoulder, onto the back of his neck, almost gentle, but controlling.  
“The history of the world, my love.”, Host hummed, looking down at Bim, as they walked slowly back into the centre of the shop.  
“Save a lot of graves, do a lot of relatives favours.”, Bim thought aloud, arms crossed, unbothered by Host’s touch.  
“Is those below serving those up above.”, Host continued, walking with Bim back to the other window, both of them looking outside, at the many people.  
“Everybody shaves, so there should be plenty of flavours.”, Bim was turned around by Host in front of the window, the two looking at one another; Host holding Bim lightly on his arms, almost his shoulders.  
“How gratifying for once to know.”, Host started, and Bim smirked.  
“That those above will serve those down below!”, the two finished together.

Bim pushed the curtains away on the window, both of the men turning to the glass to peer outside once more.  
“What is _that?”_, Host asked, almost disturbed.  
“It’s fop. Finest in the shop.”, Bim answered, looking up at Host before turning back from the window, making his way back to the counter.  
“And we have some shepherd’s pie peppered with actual shepherd on top.”, he continued, sprinkling some flour onto pies.  
Host made his way to the counter as well, then, watching and listening to Bim.  
“And I’ve just begun!”, Bim picked up a greasy squishy pie, “Here’s the politician so oily, it’s served with a doily, have one!”.  
He gave it to Host, who looked in disdain as _something_ dripped from the pie as he held it.  
“Put it on a bun. Well you never know if it’s going to run.”, he said, dropping the pie back onto the counter, looking at his fingers, before stepping towards a window again.

“Try the friar! Fried, it’s drier.”, Bim said, picking up one of the other pies, looking towards Host. The blind man had picked up a cleaver, inspecting it.  
“No! The clergy is really too coarse and too mealy.”, Host replied, walking back towards the opposite window.  
“Then actor!”, Bim picked up another pie to show, “It’s compacter!”.  
“Yes, and always arrives overdone.”, Host rolled his eyes, a slight motion of his head, stepping back towards the counter, and Bim.

He grabbed Bim, pulling him close, holding the cleaver close to Bim’s neck.  
“I’ll come again, when you have _judge_ on the menu.”, he growled lowly, before stepping away, pulling Bim closer to himself again, and they were back in a slight waltz, stepping into the middle of the room.

“Have charity towards the world, my pet.”, Host hummed, stepping in circles with Bim, watching him closely, the cleaver against Bim’s shoulder as they danced.  
“Yes, yes, I know, my love.”  
“We’ll take the customers that we can get.”  
“High-born and low, my love.”  
“We’ll not discriminate great from small.”, Host pulled the two back to the window, just like they had been the first time, looking outside, smirking slightly.  
“No, we’ll serve anyone. Meaning anyone!”  
“We’ll serve anyone.”, Bim spoke with Host together.  
“And to anyone! At all…”, they finished together.


End file.
